Advanced Adulting

By Steve Gwisdalla

Hello Tribe of Up! Welcome back to our oasis from all the polarizing, divisive, sensationalistic programming out there. Here we advocate for more joy both for ourselves and for others. In this ever more maddening world, we need to focus on being the adults in the room. Advanced adulting is a thing and the Tribe of Up is here to help!

As a parent, adulthood was thrust upon me. Being responsible for a tiny human will have that effect. As that tiny human has now grown into a teenager (eating us out of house and home) advanced adulting is more necessary than ever. Adulting is being your teenager’s friend because life is hard. Advanced adulting is remembering our job is to teach them to one day become adults themselves. Handing them everything, spoon feeding them life’s easy way and never saying “no” to them is not advanced adulting. Once I had a tiny human, completely dependent on his parents for everything. Now, we are preparing him for independence in a cold, unforgiving world.

As a spouse, adulthood was thrust upon me even before parenthood was. Being interdependent with another adult and making joint decisions on everything from food choices to finance was an adjustment from my footloose and fancy-free days of bachelorhood. Advanced adulting is a collaboration and partnership. Regular adulting is demanding your own way or giving ultimatums to your significant other.

As a member of the community, advanced adulting is collaborating with people on common goals for the betterment of the community, regardless of potential obstacles like political affiliation. Adulting is screaming the ‘other side’ is wrong. Advanced adulting is listening and remembering to begin with the end in mind for the betterment of the community. As a person practicing advanced adulting, it is imperative to remember that sometimes we can be right but not be correct.

As a member of society, advanced adulting is being kind and spreading kindness wherever and whenever possible. It is not easy. Keeping our emotional tanks full can be a challenge when it seems like all the world wants to do is shout and yell. Keeping our cool, being kind and advocating for more joy is vital in advanced adulting. Oh sure, I have my bad days. Getting cut off in traffic will bring regular adulting out in me. Bad days at work too. Then I drive by a little league practice and watch those young people outside just being kids. I hear my son laughing when talking to friends. I watch my young dog barking and trying to play with a young dear on the front lawn. We need to turn off the ugly and actively seek more beauty. In advanced adulting I trust!

Steve is a Dexter resident and the President and Chief Advanced Adulting Officer at Better Place Consulting, a career, life and success coaching organization. Reach out at [email protected].